- 1/8/14 - 

Letting go of preparing for things is the scariest thing I've ever done. And I'm experiencing that fear right now. Right now at 6:31 pm on January 8, 2014 in extremely humid weather, which is not helping, because it's making my hair go nuts and I don't appreciate it. 

But I digress…

I love preparation. And I love performing. But the time in between strikes terror in my bones. But how thankful I am that I don't serve a God who is limited by preparation, performance, or the time in between. 

- 12/25/13 -He is the reason for everything, not just the season. A very merry Christmas to you and yours. Wherever you find yourself today, have a lovely day filled with joy.    Peace to you.

- 12/20/13 -I think when God talks about faith the size of a mustard seed, he's not talking about weak faith. He's talking about strong faith in the mustard-seed sized circumstances. If you believe there is a God, you can move mountains. If you believe He is good, you can move mountains. If you believe He loves you, you can move mountains. If you believe He answers prayer, you can tear down walls and uproot cities. See, the tiny things you believe build up and mold and solidify into a mountain made of mustard seeds. Every thought, every belief, every word is a mountain-seed that is built on faith in even the tiniest and most mundane things about God. Everything is preparing your mountain for the day that wind and rain will come and shake it to its core. My only question is, if we have the strength to move mountains, then why aren't we making mountains that can't be moved?  

- 11/09/11 -

Bring it, fall. The fact that you and winter are the only seasons in which I can actually wear something other than a t-shirt is enough to justify your enthusiastic welcome from me. Buuuuut, you do make me want to perk up all my spaces and go into a redesigning frenzy. I'm still trying to decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing.  However, you = hot chocolate and cookies by bonfires.You're okay, I guess.  

- 11/02/13 - 

Have you ever really wanted something? I mean really wanted something. Wanted something so much that your chest aches and your eyes well up with tears? 

Well, right now, I want something. 

But the hard thing is, I can't work for it. I can't pay for it. I can't kick and scream and beg for it until my throat is hoarse. It's literally out of my hands. All that stands between me and the thing I desperately want is a one-page letter with a return address in Virginia, and God's plan and purpose. 

This thing, it's not something I can decide. This thing has been the subject of a constant battle between God and me, and it's not that I doubt his power to allow me this thing, it's that I don't know if this is part of his plan for me, and the thought leaves me breathless and sobbing and screaming all at once. 

One time, someone asked me how I am so close to God.

Well, my first instinct was to laugh and say honey it's my pastor dad and a lot of Bible reading. 

But then I stopped. Because that wasn't true. A relationship with God is forged through kicking, screaming, and a lot of crying. A lot of crying. A lot of asking why and how and when and what and wherefore. It's a lot of shaking your fist at the sky then collapsing into bed so hard that you can't breathe. It's a lot of falling down, only to be picked up again by your Daddy and shown how you have no idea, no clue what's ahead. 

And you really do not have even the faintest idea. It's really humbling. 

The journey begins and goes and ends in realizing not that you are nothing, but that He is everything. 

Blessed Saturday friends. He is everything. 

11/01/13

///

There's a simple joy in a fair. Sure, there's deep-fried anything that will make your head spin and stomach churn just thinking about it, but seeing little faces light up when they see a carousel or a ferris wheel is amazing. Or, you could be my nine-year old sister and immediately go towards the "g-force" of doom. Take your pick.

Slowing down like this makes me so happy. I can sit back, slurp on my rootbeer float (holy cow that thing was good), and relive what it means to be content with life. 

But not for too long, of course. The g-force calls your name pretty quickly. 

I'll let you in on somethin' big. I am not a white teeth teen. I tried to join, but never did. The way they are the way they seem is somethin' else, it's in the blood. Their molars blinkin' like the lights in the underpass where we all sit and do nothin' but love it. We got the glow in our mouths. White teeth teens are out.
/// Lorde